My friendship with John began many years ago, and when we fell apart because he gossiped a lot, I felt like we would remain enemies forever. Nevertheless, making new allies was not as easy as keeping individuals whom I already knew. Being friends with John was essential to me because he could lend me money whenever I got broke. Sow and Ann assert that intelligent people “focus on the people they already know rather than trying to meet new friends” (16). John was special to me, and since our companionship was beneficial to my life, it was good to renew it. For this reason, I decided to restore the relationship by contacting John, forgiving him, and agreeing to rebuild our respect.
Firstly, I considered the cost of losing our friendship because I could not meet individuals who could readily lend me money. Since I suffered a lot, I decided to repair the companionship. Situations that make people feel guilty are not worth it, especially when individuals notice that they live under pressure, which undermines their self-respect in society (Yixin 760). John was understanding and respected me a lot, and therefore, bringing him back into my life would be a positive step. The renewed friendship would be highly significant to both of us. While I would use the funds to buy food and clothes, John got more money as he charged interest.
After deciding to repair our friendship, I immediately called John and explained how our companionship was essential. I continued by asking him whether there was a possibility of us rectifying what stood between us. As I opened the door for reconciliation, I realized that John was also ready for a resolution. We agreed to forget the past and move on as if there was nothing wrong between us.
Although it was hard to let go because John had wronged me by sharing my personal life with several individuals, I just decided to forgive him. However, people do not easily forget the transgressions that their friends and family members made since repairing such relationships might not be highly beneficial to them (Visser et al. 3056). At first, I felt like discussing John with his allies, but I remembered that he might punish me by doing the same to me in return. Since I believed that retaliating could be dangerous, I stopped it by simply forgiving John.
To stop John from repeating the mistake, I decided to diagnose it by determining why he liked gossiping and telling his allies about my personal life. I asked him why he loved spreading rumors about his friends because it affected many of them. John informed me that he temporarily relieved his stress by judging other people discussing them with his friends. Furthermore, he thought that when sharing other individuals’ personal lives, he was generating fascinating discussions. However, he sincerely apologized and promised never to repeat the mistake.
Since John was apologetic, we finally agreed to rebuild our respect. I noted that he had many admirable qualities, such as being kind, reliable, honest, and capable. Whenever I wanted him to lend me money, John honestly promised me when I would get it without failure. For this reason, he inspired me to become like him, and so, I quickly rebuilt my respect for him. In short, our relationship recovered smoothly, and we regained all the joy that we initially had, therefore, increasing our satisfaction.
In summary, forgiving John was highly beneficial to me because it helped me to continue living peacefully with my emotional wounds fully healing. Although John was a gossiper, staying without him was costly since I did not have anyone else to lend me money, and so, I called and explained to him how our companionship was important. John promised never to wrong me again, and we agreed to respect each other.
Sow, Aminatou, and Ann Friedman. Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close. Simon and Schuster, Inc.,USA, 2020. Web.
Visser, Margreet, et al. “I’ll Never Forgive You: High Conflict Divorce, Social Network, and Co-Parenting Conflicts.” Journal of Child and Family Studies, vol. 26, no. 11, 2017, pp. 3055-3066. Web.
Yixin, L. I. U. “Feminine Consciousness in the Works of Lu Yin.” Journal of Literature and Art Studies, vol. 10, no. 9, 2020, pp. 749-765. Web.